She Isn't Trying To Hurt Herself by Fkaay

She slices through her arms
To fulfill a certain desire aching inside
The pain atleast is a great distraction
From that of feeling helpless
numb
And self destruction

Honestly
She isnt trying to hurt herself
Instead
She just wants something else to shift her attention to
She just needs a different pain to concentrate on

The blood oozing from vessels
Turning her intestines to knots
The adrenaline rush
Sending a wave of joy
Achievement
Accomplishment

She thinks to herself
At least the depth and flow
Is something she can control
There is sth about this red liquid
That races through her dilapidating body
That satisfies her soul
Brings her joy
And makes her whole

Unlike people
Its reliable
She knows for a fact
It will always show when she needs it
She can touch it
See it
She can feel it
Sometimes she even tastes it
Unlike people
Its comforts her
Makes her feel desired and needed
Makes her feel alive

She really isnt trying to hurt herself
Instead
She wants something else to concentrate on

Fkaay