Pregnant With Inevitable Offence

Pregnant with inevitable offence.

One minute I had conceived happiness, hence,pregnant with joy,
The next minute it was a morning sickness with an intense distaste, joy did not commence in the morning as I endured delight in the night.
I looked at my tummy bulge with ignominious shame, it reminded me of how fucked up Joseph was to realise his strange fruit was known.
Though I find courage to walk in the light of day and fear none whatsoever, I know he knew me before I was formed.
One minute I'm religious, that God is great and deserves all praise, the next I'm realistic, my mind is all over, I think religion is for masses but mysticism is for me. That the whole bible is just an allegory,
With too many perspectives and shit.
One minute I'm a lady picky with her food, with a sweet voice and a good walk,the next minute I'm gobbling a loaf of bread like three men in one body,greeting with handshakes in Tupac's voice.
One minute I am in love, beautifully, I think he is the one. He gives me a cutaneous sensation of some sort. The next, it's just a circle, he'll leave me anyway and I'll be back to heartbreak like I haven't had enough.
Are we tailored for pain and remorse, embroidered with gloom and calamity?
Are we the hopeless generation; set apart from Noah's ark, he was righteous with an elevated noble spirit;
But out here are fucked up souls, hungry for power and pussy,
Lost and confused,
Unbelieving believers,
Its all fucked up and not funny.
We've waited for 2000 and more years for the messiah,
They said he was coming, I don't know about it, its sounds like procrastination to me.
I don't believe the bible true,
But I know God is there and I'm waiting to hear the sound of his voice, I only hope it doesn't feel like my conscience screaming.
One minute, I'm all saved and free, the next I believe I'm all righteous but I remembered how that self justification deal of ' no condemnation' turned a pastor into a pimp,
A youth mentor into an alcoholic. They were duped, we all duped.
I'm pregnant with ideas and philosophy,
I struggle with religion against reality. I hate to cause offence, but its inevitable as I am depleted of strength each day I say nothing.

©2016
Tandzile 'Tandz'

Like Us